Google/ Blogger are DICKS!!

Got an email last week from Google telling me to remove my 'adult content' or have my whole blog removed. Well its they site or here you go asshole, SUCK IT!

More crap from me...

Haven't blogged here in a while, been over a year. I guess I'm restarting trying to boost up...something... I don't know... my readership on the incredibly unimportant happenings of my life . Not sure why I am, I had stopped because I had nothing nothing good to say, and still don't. A lot has happened over the past year but nothing I can think of worth going into. Still at war with myself, my weight, my art, my lack of a love life and my love of booze. Now that is the part I can't understand is why I continue the self imposed probation when time after time I've proven to myself that alcohol is a neutral factor my the path of improving my life. It's doesn't help, AT ALL, but in moderate amounts it does not hurt neither. Which is what I guess why I'm really blogging, to get my thoughts out, to help evaluate the goings on in my life. By openly stating my problems and issues I am see solutions in the words I've written more than the ones in my head.


That's it for now...

Quick update

I've been working out on and off for the past month and the hurting is starting to kick in. I'm getting further long in the program in such that I'm lasting longer through the work outs. I'm able to do a little more and with that it hurts a little more.

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I also did the March Of Dimes, March for Babies last weekend. It was fun. I did it alone because everyone on our office team didn't show up. That doesn't matter seeing as how if they did, I wouldn't have walked with them because they're all slow and fat and would have held me up. The walk itself wasn't bad, not nearly as long as I figured a 3 mile walk would be. The only thing is my feet really started to hurt near the end, but I just need to get better shoes for walking. Afterward I grabbed some Subway and went home, watched some of the hockey playoffs, then took a super long nap. I guess the walk wore me out pretty good.

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At 12am midnight May 1, I will have completed my month long no drinking period. So I will have a drink to celebrate. Not too much, I have to get up early that Saturday.

On my meds, and off the booze...

So I've been popping my anti-depressants for about a little over month and I guess I can tell a little difference. It's all part of that chemical trail I'm doing to see if this drug which is normally used in physical therapy in the US and England can also be used as an anti-depression medication. I've had less deep mood swings and lows and I can identify those rapid negative thoughts a lot easier than I use to, as in the past they were just part of my normal thought processes. I was and still I'm putting myself down and not thinking in the matter that is healthy for me but I am getting better.

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I’ve stopped drinking alcohol this whole month. It’s been a real bitch for me, more than it should be. You see I normally follow the ‘tradition’ of giving up something for Lent (the time between Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday; for those who may not know). I’m not Catholic, but I do believe in Jesus so giving on a habit for 40 days is a small price to pay for what Jesus did for us, dying for our sins. I’m not going to get all preachy here; this is more of a personal background story to what I’m really going with from the beginning.

So for a month or so I’d stop drinking for a few more reasons besides Lent. One of these to make sure I can actually do it and that I have enough will power to stay off booze for a month. This way if I can do a month I can do two months and then three and then six and so on, and I don’t have to worry too much about becoming an alcoholic. But I am having a harder time than usual this go around. It’s normally the first weekend which is the worst for that when the cravings kick in but normally after that it tappers off, but this time I’m thinking about it EVERYDAY!! I don’t ever remember wanting a drink so badly. And it’s at all weird times of the day; mostly during the evening like at 7:30 on a Tuesday. A fuckin Tuesday! I’m not a week day drinker; I’m a weekend boozer, Friday, Saturday, maybe a Sunday. From me to be drinking on a Tuesday would require something special, like the Playoffs, and even then I’m not going on a bender. I don’t really go on benders during the weekend (anymore) so why do I want it on a Tuesday?!

The other reason is to help me lose weight. Less booze, less calorie intake, less I have to work off. That’s all gone in the shitter since I seem to be eating I hell of a lot more, especially sweets, candy and all kinds of fucking sugar. But this is a rant for another day.

So you maybe saying to yourself “Hey, Easter was weeks ago! Why are you having sure a hard time with this now”, that’s true but the fact is that I could not stick with it during Lent; I’d break down every time I try to get started. And then there is St. Patrick’s Day, dead in the middle of Lent, a true bitch of a day to stop drinking if there ever was a day. So I pushed it back to the month of April and started my own personal Lent. I know it’s not the full time allowed in Lent but I think I may keep it this way. I get St. Pattie’s which is cool and I still get to practice self-discipline by giving up a simple luxury.

I’m so looking forward to May 1^st, and by that I mean May 1^st, 12:00 am. I’m going to get… something… my favorite beer or rum and wait till midnight! I’m over the hump now. Just two more weeks! I should do this with no real problem but the cravings are still there. My biggest fear is that I have a monkey on my back which I never until now.

Updates and Shit!!

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Bad start for the day...

Here's a little something... So I wake you this morning not hungover, but still drunk. I gotta learn to stop drinking on the week days. And I'm all tried and my head is hurting because I didn't take any Advil the night before because I was out and too silly and or lazy to buy more the last time I was at the store. Killer beer fart are rolling out of my ass and I so just want to call in sick but I had stuff that need to be done at work so that's a 'no go'. Running late, I finally get dress and head to the door. I rip one last fart before stepping outside. As I'm locking my front door I smell something really, much worst than my farts. I look around and then down at my feet and there lay a pile of dog shit, right in the middle of my door mate. I of course responded in kind.

"MOTHERFUCKA!!"

Don't know who the nasty bastard was who left it there, but man... if I ever catch them; the dog is as good as dead.

I try to think of who could have done this; my asshole drug dealing neighors? No, I don't think they have a dog or at least I've heard one. You can't really hide the fact that you have a dog. The only thing I can think of is that it's some early moring asshole walking the mut and he decided to fuck with me.

Next time I will be ready!



Had to get this off my chest so I can move on.

Updates and things

I've made some small adjustments in my life since the last time I ranted, and things are starting to look better or at least feel better. About a month ago I started wearing a tie to work which is odd in a casual dress work place. People only would wear ties if they had to be in a meeting with other people wearing ties, so when I started to wear one, people think I'm going to a meeting and would ask me what's the meeting about. I'd tell them that there's no meeting and then they ask why am I wearing a tie; "Just because..." I'd response, which trips them out.

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So I fell off the wagon a bit and gained 5 pounds. It's took a month and a half but that's a lot of weight to put on, for me. I had stopped eating my veggies for some reason which is weird because I like veggies. The good news is that I finally found the pull up bar I was looking for. Now I can truly maximise my upper body work out, I'm looking forward to it. That with the veggies back in my regular diet will put me back on track.

Having a regular work out makes you learn things about your body that normally wouldn't show itself. Like how the whole right side of me is much weaker than the left. Do know why, it just is, I notice it most when doing push ups. Right side always wants to crap out first

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As far a MILF named Val, I've given up, again. I know of no man that has escaped the 'friend zone' without coming onto a large sum of money. So if I have to play the friend role then I'm doing it on my terms; I call when I want to, burp and make other disgusting nosies and do all the other things I want to do just like with all my other friends. The problem with the 'friend zone' is dude's tend to stay in 'pussy pursuit' mode which fucks with your head. I've learned you've got to disengage that pussy and find a new target, never to case that pussy again unless it literately falls on your dick. Then you're good.

A bitter sweet part to this is that she is no longer working at the council. I'll miss seeing her round perky ass everyday, but I lease I can completely control my interaction with her, so if all of her 'issues' start to bug me, I can make an effortless back for it.

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Primerica... My biggest personal failure and my biggest hope for the future. It all comes back to me. I am brain locked into doing all the time that keep me from reaching my goals. It's hard to change ones bad habits, at least all at once. I've seen major improvements in me and my daily habits that I know the I will make things work out the way they need to be. I'm getting better, it's merely the time it's taking which is way to long. Gonna keep pushing hard to get where I belong.

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On a final weird note I'm trying online dating, again. Every summer I jump back on this horse until it pisses me off and I jump and want to shot it. This one is a little different in that it's one of those sex hook up sites. Yes, I've fallen that low but I figure it cost the same as porn and I may actually get laid, so why not.

Wish me luck!!